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Astrology is Proof that God Geometrizes

Astrology is proof that God geometrizes. On day that you were born, the stars created a unique pattern of your becoming. The Planets arranged themselves,by Sign, House and Aspect into a beautiful tapestry that told the story of your Soul and the life lessons that you had chosen. With only 12 Houses, 12 Signs,10 Planets, and a 360-degree wheel the least possible combinations of those Planets, In Signs and Houses would be: 180,000,000,000,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00,00,000 of variables. That’s 180 to the 21st power, I call ita gyjillion. Even with that amazing number, you will find myriad varieties of behaviors, since no two people born on the same day will make the same choices, during the exact same transits. Certainly, the life lessons themselves will mirror each other, but the choices made by the individuals facing those lessons can be polar opposites. It’s all about the choices ya see. That’s why we need to be able to celebrate our choices.

The first rule of learning Astrology, is Not to let what you don’t knowstop you from pursuing the study. Granted, it is like learning a whole new language, but I myself am a very ADD kid, so I promise ( pinky swear) to keepit simple. I am lucky enough to be a 3rd generation Astrologer and I have been blessed with some wonderful and truly patient teachers, so it is my honour to take your paw, and help you along the starry path. All you need to do is totake your time and follow the painted cha cha footprints and we will get there together.

What’s Your Sign ?

That’s probably one of the worst pick up lines in history, but in truth, we all know our Sun Signs. The placement of the Sun, on the date and time of your birth is one of the most important factors in your Natal Chart. So much so, that a whole industry has revolved around Sun Sign Astrology. The problem with that is, that it obviates the 9 other Planets in your Chart. Okay, it’s good to have a small serving of information, but would you want your Doctor to only read 1/10 of your chart ? I think not. The energies and behaviors of your Sun Sign are symbolic of the lessons that you need to perfect in this lifetime. Only by understanding both sides of your Sun Sign, can you embrace the person whom you were born to be.So you can see, that people who will never learn more than just their Sun Sign will be well served, but why settle for a snack when you can have the whole feast ?

As compared to other stars in the Universe, our Sun is not all that. It isn’t the biggest or the most impressive, but to us, it is a life giving element. Our seasons and cycles are perfectly connected to the 12 months that it takes for beloved Mother Earth to make one journey around the Sun. This dance is one more reminder that all of life is interconnected (a basic tenet of the Medicine Wheel) and a constant reminder that we are all brought to life by the same Great Creator Spirit who spun the stars into being.

Cusping are ya ?

What does it mean if I were born on the cusp ? Simple, it means that you haven’t had your Chart done yet. The Sun cannot be in two Signs at the same time. Granted, there are years were the Sun Signs may vary by a day or two, so that someone born on May 21st could be a Taurus, while someone born on the same day in a different year could be a Gemini.

Truth be told, the Sun Sign before yours, as well as, the Sun Sign right after yours, are very important life lessons for you, but the location of the Sun at the exact time of your birth is the closest connection to the needs of your Soul. Consider the symbol of the Sun, it’s a Circle with a dot in the middle of it.( Yes, we will get to Esoteric Symbolism as we go along.) The Circle is God the Alpha and the Omega, and the emerging dot is you, a perfect beam of Light, sentfrom God to learn important life lessons right here on the Earth plane.

For any professional Astrologer to erect your Natal Chart, he/she will need your full birth data, that’s your Name, Date, Time, City, State and County of your Birth. If your birth time is not available, most Astrologers will use Noon, they won’t be happy, but they’ll use it. Without your birth time, you cannot precisely find your Ascendant or Rising Sign, as well as, your House Cusps.

Yeah, I hear ya, you may not know what that means, but give it time, we aren’t there yet.

Stay with me, remember it’s baby steps, the best way to learn.

Let’s look at Sun Signs And Behavior. There is nothing as truly complex as the human psyche. While Sun Sign traits are both powerful and predictable, the Sun is only one aspect of your Natal Chart. You are born to learn how to manifest the best abilities and characteristics of your Sun Sign. Unless your Sun is in the same Sign as your Moon, you are new to this. That’s why young Leo’s can be so insecure and pushy, and mature Leos can truly be the Light that enters the room. Okay, some older Leos can be pretty obnoxious as well, but just being older doesn’t mean that one is mature. The traits that are attributed to each of the Sun Signs are the end products of countless years of astrological study. Once you discover all of the attributes of your Sun Sign, the good, the bad and the “you have to be kidding me” you will know how to stay in a good place when people are pushing your buttons. Ah button pushing, truly a karmic technique. That is a product of the Moon….but, I digress back to the Basics.

Learning Astrology is kinda like creating a mental filing system. For every Sign, Planet or House of the Zodiac, there are ways to cross-reference them.Sun Signs can be filed by Element and Quality. Elements you probably know already. By understanding the Elements, you will access better ways with whichto communicate with others. Don’t waste time on trying to get a Taurus to talkif they have work to do. While Geminis will talk to inanimate objects ( my Ex Husband comes to mind) Pisces can’t hear you talking if the TV is on. And if you send a Sagittarius out for milk and t p, they may come back without it hours later, but only because they ran into a friend, in the parking lot of the store.

Okay for your first reference point, The Elements. They are, in no particular order Air, Earth, Fire and Water. The Air Signs are Gemini, Libraand Aquarius. The Earth Signs are Taurus, Virgo ( although Virgo is ruled by Mercury, so it’s a kinda Airy Earth) and Capricorn. The Fire Signs are Aries,Leo and Sagittarius. And the Water babies are Cancer, Scorpio ( yeah , but Scorpio is more gasoline than Water ) and Pisces. It’s important now that Neptune has entered Pisces, the Sign which is rules your beloved Pisces aremore Pisceserer than ever. We will cover each of the Sun Signs in detail later…stay with me.

Fire Signs are high on ambition and low on common sense. All Fire babies are big on starting things, it’s the finishing part that eludes them. Hopefully, the Fire Signs in your life have some nice steady Earth Sign Planets, somewhere in their Natal Charts, because they need that for grounding. Earth Signs are everything that’s mentioned in the Boy Scout Oath, they are loyal, steadfast, trustworthy and probably the hardest working folks on the Planet. That’s why they most often workaholics. Air babies thrive on communication and learning, since they are perennial students. My Mother at the age of 73 was still in college, although, she passed on the Phys Ed classes, she was a typical Aquarius. When you need to see things from a different perspective, ask an Air Sign, and they willgive you more options than you could ever imagine. Water babies live in a worldof feelings. It’s as though their nerves extend 50 feet away from their bodies and they will often feel a transit before it moves in. With All Water Signs, it is Not what you say to them but, rather How you say it. Earth Signs find Water Signs hyper sensitive, and Water Signs find Earth Signs harsh and unfeeling. Neither is true, it’s all about How very differently they process the events in their lives. Earth needs Water or it is barren. Fire needs Air or it burns out quickly.

The Qualities, its all about attitude, the Qualities are Cardinal, Fixedand Mutable. This is another good indicator of behavior and personal needs. The Qualities will respond very differently to the same experience. The CardinalSigns are driven toward accomplishment, and once they see a goal, not muchcan stop them. The Fixed Signs want things the way they want them and when life brings them unexpected changes, they hate it…just hate it. The Mutable Signs will bend and flex like a Willow tree in a windstorm. Surprises for them are just plain exciting, which is good because they do poorly when they are bored.

The Cardinal Signs are Aries, Libra, Cancer and Capricorn. These are people who prefer to get things accomplished. These are string willed individuals, who don’t take “No” for an answer. They feel the need to be an integral partof something much larger than themselves. Since they are natural leaders, they easily take charge, and are called “Executive Signs.”

The Fixed Signs are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. Think of Fixed Signs like giant Oak trees. If you push them, they don’t move. They are cautious, bordering on stubborn. They don’t care for surprises, and will fight change until it is their idea. They are as tenacious as a pit bull, and have amazing amounts of patience and stamina.

The Mutable Signs are Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces. These people are as flexible as Gumby. When changes happen, as they often do in life, these individuals will go with the flow. Since they easily adapt to any and all situations, it makes it a pleasure to work with them. They are survivors, who can make the best of whatever life drops upon them. Plus they are funny, funny is good.

Even though your Sun may be in, I dunno pick one, okay Scorpio, that doesn’t mean that all of your Life lessons will be the Scorpio type. Certainly the big ones that affect your ego will be, but by transit (yeah, the Planets that are constantly moving around your Natal Chart) or by progression (a system by which you can see your maturation over time) you Will be tested in every House and Sign of the Zodiac.

Once you add the Elements to the Qualities, you get a better picture of each of the Sun Signs and their unique behavior patterns. Remember always, that a person’s faults are their unanswered needs. For instance, Virgos don’t mean to be picky, they just don’t understand that they are already perfect. Alrighty, let’s line up the Sun Signs.

Aries is a Cardinal/Fixed Sign. These are antsy people who need to always stay physically active, due to their restlessness. Once they develop positive ways to channel their boundless energy, they will become leaders in their fields of endeavor. Since they need to learn their limits, they are known to begin more projects than they can possibly ever finish. Due to their Rulership by Mars,these are folks who tend to leap into a mess, before they think about it. Theyare quite good in leadership positions, since their enthusiasm can easily inspire others to do more than they thought they could. Yes, they can be quite stubborn, but once they see the value of new ideas, they will embrace themand add them to their personal disciplines. Just speak about untapped potential to them, whenever you want to make a point. The symbol for Aries brings together two crescents to create the horns of the Aries ram, and that’s perfect since nobody is as headstrong as an Aries person.

Taurus is a Fixed Earth Sign. These are people who generally hate change. Not only will they cling to outmoded ideas and concepts, their dislike of change can actually keep them from taking advantage of great new opportunities. Taureans are every word in the Boy Scout oath, they are loyal and steadfast, and they are as honest as the day is long. The only way that you can loose a Taurus as a friend is, if you should be foolish enough to lie to them. These people want the whole truth, not just bits of the truth. These are steady constant individuals and society leans on them for consistency and trustworthiness. The symbol for Taurus is a circle with horns to represent the Taurean bull. In truth, I see it as a baked potato, since Taurus folks understand the simple magnificence of life. I mean really how do you improve on a perfectly baked potato ? Not to mention that once their chores are done, nobody makes a better couch potato than a Taurus, after a long day of work. Their Venus Rulership makes them naturals at building comfort zones. Every Taurus should have a hammock.

Gemini is a Mutable Air Sign, and with their quick wit and ability to embrace change they can handle chaos, as if it were their best friend. These are someof the most creative, imaginative people you will ever meet and with their great senses of humour, they can get along with almost anyone. Luckily, they are all born to multitask, since just one goal, or one project will bore them to death.Gemini folks are perennial students, and they are also best at networking. Between their love of obscure facts and human nature in general, they make perfect counselors for those who seek the truth. The symbol for Gemini looksa bit like a squished together Roman Numeral Two. It is said to represent the Geminian twins, I prefer to see it as a perspective thing. If you ever need to look at something from every possible angle, just ask a Gemini. They can see things and situations from multiple perspectives. That’s why they make such good spin doctors. Courtesy of their Ruler, Mercury, these are the original inquiring minds.

Cancer is a Cardinal Water Sign, and their emotional commitment can truly move mountains. Moon Babies tend to adopt people, and in most cases you can’t tell the difference between their gene pool family and their sacred family. Okay, since they are ruled by the Moon, who changes her Sign from every 18 hours to every 2 1/2 days, they do have more PMS/BMS than any other sign. That’s when they make cookies and brood quietly. While you are enjoying the cookies, drop a little hint in the conversation, that reminds them how much they are loved. These are sensitive folks who need to know that they belong. Every Cancer person needs a safe comfort zone in which to nest, nosh and nurture their beloveds.The symbol for Cancer looks like two spirals, as a representation of the shell of the Cancer crab. That works quite well since Cancer people will take the influence of their home environment everywhere they go. That’s why they need their homes in order, whether they are there or not.

Leo is a Fixed Fire Sign, Ruled by the Sun and while it gives them the sunniest disposition on the Planet, their egos are egg shell thin. Any changesto their opinions or behavior Must be their idea. Granted, you can plant seed thoughts, and fertilize them with praise for all of the things that they do perfectly, but then you have to stand back and wait for it all to take root.Mature Leos can be the very most charming people you can ever meet. It’s only the immature Leo types who get obnoxious and brag about their lives. They all want to be the biggest and the bestest and it’s that drive to be ahead of others, than can obscure them from the reality of situations. Somewhere in every Leo child’s life they got the message “Make us proud” and it’s that validation stuff that catches up with them, until they learn how to erase their family script. The symbol for Leo is a rendering of their lovely Lion’s mane, while they are the royalty of the Zodiac, the message behind that is that pride can be their undoing.

Virgo is a Mutable Earth Sign, and their métier is organization. From the smallest details, to what it takes to rebuild an entire corporate structure, these folks thrive on making things work in the most cost effective manner. Quite often they are workaholics, who forget that what they do is Not who they are. As employees you won’t find a harder worker. As a partner, they will always have an opinion as to how You need to do things better. It is their drive for perfection that can make them sometimes a wee bit nitpicky. Never ask a Virgo what he/she thinks is wrong with something, unless you are ready to take notes, as well as, action. If you want your business organized and humming along the path of prosperity, just call in a Virgo. Just don’t ask him/her if those pants make your arse look big. The symbol for Virgo is that of the grounded angel, you can even see her tucking her wing in. Once Virgo types learn to fight the voice of their inner critics, those lovely wings will unfurl and they will take flight. They are also Ruled by Mercury, and that’s what gives them the genius they have for systems and orderly living.

Libra is a Cardinal Air Sign and noone is a gracious and hospitable as a Libra, that’s due to the fact, that lovely Venus rules them. Thanks to the fact that they have spent the last 2 1/2 years under the tutelage of Saturn, they have a bit more backbone than they did before. Initially most Librans were “peace at any price” kinda people, now not so much. While they will always take others needs into consideration, what they truly want to see is a fair and equitable situation for everyone involved. At times that makes it difficult for them to make decisions, but it’s that considerate nature that draws people to them for counsel. Their charm and genuine kindness can take others from confrontational to cooperative. It’s no surprise that they make great therapists and teachers. These are rare individuals who will weight and balance every choice, until their beloveds are screaming, “Stop it already.” Their need for rhythm, balance and harmony inall things can and does cripple them on occasion, but it also makes them very thoughtful and considerate. The symbol for Libra (long I) is composed of two parallel lines that represent scales. That represents their need for balance in all things.

Scorpio is a Fixed Water Sign, although I consider them more gasoline thanWater. If you have ever seen a Scorpio bubble over, you know it’s a flammable thing. They are also the most perseverant people on the Planet. If it takes years to get to a goal, so be it, they will just dig in deeper and work harder. With Plutoas their Ruler, they always have insider information on whatever is going on. I don’t know that they want it, the info just seems to find them. These are intensely private people and if they share a secret with you, that’s an honour. If they are your friend, they will firewalk for you. If you cross them, well, remember what I said about gasoline. They are among the best when it comes to the Water Sign game. Here’s the game, you know that something is wrong, but you don’t know what it is. You ask your Scorpio beloved and the response is a clipped, terse, “Nothing.” That means that something is indeed very very wrong, but you should know that already. AND since you can’t identify just what it is, you Must be an unthinking dolt. Soooo, Scorpio won’t tell you and all of the while, hate you for not knowing. Yeah, itsa mystery, wrapped in an enigma, rolled into a triple cheese burrito. Just say, “ I love you” and keep moving. The symbol for Scorpio is thatof the Scorpion, not a reach, but accurate. Just remember that whenever a Scorpio zaps someone else, that little sticker snaps back and gets the Scorpio baby as well.

Sagittarius is a Mutable Fire Sign, and these are free wheeling, free thinking individuals who refuse to be fenced in. Since they are gypsies by nature, the more that they can travel, the happier they are. No matter what kind of environment, they find themselves in, Sagittarians will make friends and createa support crew for themselves in very little time. Confinement makes them queasy and any job that they have, must include some level of autonomy. The secret to living with and loving a Sagittarius, is to give them all of the freedom that they want. If you do, they will come back to you in no time. These are truly loving individuals, who have no prejudice against others. They see people as people first, and view our differences as only points of reference. We should all be so wise. The symbol for Sag is the archer’s arrow, and that fits quite well, since they often shoot others with the truth. Yeah, subtlety is not their métier. Once they mature, they realize that not every audience finds their sense of humour all that entertaining. Until then you can expect to attend a funeral with them, only to hear more than a few “pull my finger” jokes. Whenever the Moon is in Sagittarius, you will find your Sag buddies with at least one foot in their mouth. Hey, they are Ruled by Jupiter, the big guy, so they really have a difficult time understanding that thing called moderation.

Capricorn is a Cardinal Earth Sign. As is true of all Earth babies, theyare dedicated workaholics. These are goal oriented people who would rather earn things than to have them handed to them. In order to truly understand a Capricorn, consider that they are all born 40 years old, yep there goes any chance at having a childhood. Granted, as a parent, it’s a pretty easy job, since they are little grown ups in kid suits. In fact, many Capricorns spend a lot of time trying to raise their parents. Good luck with that. They need rules, regulations and structure in their world. Remember that these are people with lofty goals and the determination and drive to get them accomplished. The symbol for Capricorn is the mountain goat, happy on his mountaintop, watching over the world, although from time to time they feel the weight of that world upon their shoulders. It’s tricky being the only grown up in the clan. However, they have a dogged determination that keeps them going through the harshest of poo storms. In the badlands, when they blasted the first edges of Crazy Horse mountain, the mountain goats knew just how far to move from the blast radius. Itsa wise and respectful distance and they would appreciate if you offer that to them. Their Ruler, Saturn is big on discipline and he’s always standing at their shoulder. Small wonder they hate wasted time and energy, eh ? Aquarius is a Fixed Air Sign that represents the collective consciousness, since they think in terms of the greater good it is sometimes difficult having an up close and personal relationship with them. Unless an Aquarian has some Water Planets to soften their perspective, they can get stuck in their heads. Granted, they are think tank kinda people, so they can spin great ideas out of mist and moonlight. It’s the up close and personal stuff that they can’t always handle. I have been told that an Aquarius can be so cerebral, that they can deliver the truth to somebody just like a crane dropping a piano on a passerby. It’s best to give them lotsa breathing room and keep spare DeCaf on hand. Every Aquarius is both a hermit and a people lover, when the people lover needs kick in, you Will have tons of company. The symbol for Aquarius looks like too electrical lines in mid zap. There’s a buzz to being with an Aquarius that is palpable. Since these are very cerebral folks who have more ideas than they have the time with which to implement them, it is helpful if they have Earth Sign friends who can take their brilliant ideas and make give them a life in the mundane world. Like all Air babies they need lots of breathing space, so when they head to the bat cave, just let them go. Their Ruler is Uranus ( remember Uraaaaaanus, not your anus) and he thrives on change and chaos in general. That’s why they get bored so easily.

Pisces is a Mutable Water Sign and their environment powerfully influences them. Pisces individuals prefer a world that is free of sharp corners and harsh realities. As true empaths, they want to live in a world where nobody ever hurts. Once a Pisces learns to schmeiss their inner victim, you will see them bloom creatively, as well as, on a personal level. It’s when their Inner Victim is in control that they will fall into delusion and self destruction. Now that Neptune is firmly rooted in Pisces and won’t be moving on for many years, your Pisces beloveds are becoming Pisceser, as if that were possible. Neptune is not only their Ruler, but he is the God of fog, hence their often clouded perceptions. A mature and self realized Pisces will be a true artist, who uses a medium to express their deepest feelings. The foggy kind of Pisces will use booze and substances just to numb out. Think John Belushi….oy. The symbol for Pisces is that of two little fishies who are swimming in opposite directions. That is also quite appropriate since Pisces can often find themselves working at crossed purposes. Also when they are called on for public speaking, Pisces will often cross their feet as if they are not too certain of they are coming or going…..that figures, eh ?

Okay now let’s visit the Planets…

We have already established that the Sun is your Direct connection to God. Your Sun Sign is what you need to grow up to be. For instance, Aries canbe courageous, but they are born nosey, and that’s what makes them leaders. When you look at the Symbol for the Sun, you see a circle with a dot in the middle. In Esoteric Symbolism, the circle, perfect and complete is God. That dot in the middle of the circle represents You, emerging from the infinite. It ishere on the Earth plane that you will learn your greatest Life Lessons, but your connection to the Great Creator Spirit cannot be severed. You Sun Sign is where you find your real self in this life and manifest your best traits.

The Moon has no Light of her own, she is a reflection of the Light of the Sun. Reflection is a great word when you think of the Moon, since she is also a direct reflection of your Past Lifetime. Yeah, all of those things that your family just can’t stand, but you love, those are products of the Moon. I just love bagpipe music, my girls cringe when I play it. Obviously back in the day when I was wondering the heather on the hills, they were elsewhere. She is also the repository of habits, talents and yes, even the relationships that you have dragged into this lifetime in your Karmic hefty bag. People whose Planets make hard aspects to your Moon are there to repeat the beat of past experiences so that you can free yourself from sticky Karma. The symbol for the Moon is a little slice of pie, also good since the Moon speaks of comfort foods. The Moon is also how you heal and seek comfort zones, of course the Sign and House placement of her will give you the rest of the story….we’ll get there…

Mercury is a zippy little dude, most folks curse him every time that he goes Retrograde, every 4 months or so and creates havoc with our cars, computers and inter personal relationships. Mercury in your Natal Chart is a primary indicator of just how well you will communicate with others, what kind of student you are, and how you process data. Some people hear a joke and get the punch line right away, while others find themselves laughing just a beat after everyone else, that’s a Mercury thing. The symbol for Mercury is a circle on top of an equilateral cross with a handsome set of antennae on top. The circle is God, the source of infinite wisdom. The cross symbolizes the balance of Spirit and Matter. And his antennae represent his need to reach out into the world and grab information. If not for Gemini and Scorpio, the nosiest signs of the Zodiac, gossip papers like The Enquirer, would not exist. While Mercury tells what kind of communicator you are, he is also emblematic of what kind of listener you will be. He will always be in your Sun Sign or the one that is adjacent to it, since he lives within 20 degrees of the Sun.

Ah lovely Venus, her symbol looks just like Mercury, minus the nosey antennae. Within her symbol you will see the circle for the expression of Godand the equilateral cross that demands a perfect balance of Spirit and Matter. Not only is she the Goddess of love and self love, and how you expect to be loved, but her placement in your Natal Chart will indicate what kind of person is attracted to you. Yep, she’s all about magnetism. Venus also shows how you will be creative and just what your aesthetic needs will be. This is a Planet that thrives on beauty, harmony and symmetry, which explains why Libra needs a life of peacefulness and splendor. You got it, Libra is ruled by Venus. She is also bigon human kindness, as you can see through her Taurus energies. Venus is very much a social tuning fork and your Natal Venus will mirror your most fulfilling and rewarding relationships.

When you look at the symbol for Mars, it’s hard not to get the point. You will see a circle, as mentioned before, with an arrow coming out of the top. Mars is a “take no prisoners” kinda fella.” He is short on subtlety and long on push. This is a Planet of drive, will, force and blind ambition, and you can see his behavior when you see an Aries in action ( yep that’s his Ruler.) Mars would rather run you over than to stop and discuss things with you. The Sign and House placement of Mars in your Natal Chart indicates what kind of person and life lesson that you will be drawn to. On good days, he will make you assertive, on the not so good days, he will make you aggressive. If you need ambition and courage, just call on Mars. He’s a total take charge kinda guy, and he won’t stop until he gets exactly what he wants. It’s important to remember that Mars has two Moons, and they are named Phobos and Diemos. That means fright and panic. Often, when people are faced with upsetting events or uncertain times, their fear and panic makes it worse for them. There’s a law of the Universe that teaches us that whatever we fear, we call in. That’s why people who fear emotional abandonment get just that, and folks who fear money troubles get more of the same. Facing your fears brings not only enlightenment, but great freedom and therein lies inner peace.

Jupiter is the Planet of eversomuchmoreso, since everything that he does, is done to excess. While he can bring you success, he is also prone to take you into overindulgence. The symbol for Jupiter has the equilateral cross, and a big fat crescent moon connected to the branch of the cross that represents the material world. While he does have great spiritual aspects, it’s that over the top connection to stuff, that has him sending you on vacations you can’t afford on credit cards that you can’t possibly pay off in an orderly fashion. Jupiter writes checks on Friday and doesn’t worry about covering them until Monday. He is generous, outgoing and optimistic, but when it comes to common sense, he hasn’t got a clue. On Michael Jackson’s Jupiter return, he won a bunch of MTV awards, made a ton of money and sadly, set fire to himself doing a Pepsi commercial. Where Jupiter sits in your Natal Chart indicates how you will seek personal success and what kind of spiritual tuning fork guides your way. Jupiter has been called the “Greater Benefic” but that’s a misnomer, while he can bring success, he can also fry you, by getting you so stuck in the fun of them moment, that you don’t consider the repercussions of your overdoing. He’s genuinely a party boy, but even the most fun party boys need to grow up and pay the bills, n’est pas? Saturn needs better representation, since he gets a lot of bad press.He has even been called maleific, as if he wants to do you some damage. Intruth, the only damage that occurs, is when you refuse to accept the process of necessary life lessons. Sure, you can bob and weave for a while, but if you forget to brush and floss, the situation will eventually become a root canal event. He also has everything to do with forcing you out of your comfort zones, in orderto make you apply your talents better. Because he prefers to test you through challenges that seem impossible to overcome, he is actually showing you how well you can function when you access your untapped potential. Okay, his lessons are rugged by nature, but, once you finish a Saturn transit, you Will be a much more mature and disciplined person. Saturn is a Planet of structure, personal responsibility, and patience. The symbol for Saturn looks a lot like the reverse of Jupiter’s. The cross is a bit longer and the crescent sits under the intersection of the cross. It isn’t that he isn’t reaching to the heavens, like Jupiter, it’s that he knows the mystic truth of “ as above, so below.” Saturn sees the Godliness in even the most lowly of jobs.

Uranus ( and lordy please pronounce it Uraaaaaaanus, not your anus, that’s something altogether different) is one wacky dude. He will change your plans in mid trip, hand your Wedding cake to a drunk who promptly falls in it, and lock your keys in the car, with a howling dog in the back seat. No, you can’t really prepare for a Uranus transit, since every day is anything can happen day ( which I do believe was Wednesdays in the old school Mickey Mouse Club.) What he will do for you is to give you “grace in times of chaos” lessons. Truthfully, many ofus would have no idea of how to fix a toilet, change a flat tire or fill our own teeth when the Dentist is not available, if not for the Uranian influence. He’s just a wacky dude who knows that when you live experientially, you are completely alive. It’s when your reflexes ( and maybe your Reflux) are tested that you discover how much you can accomplish, when there isn’t time to meditate upon things. His symbol is made of the same old equal cross with crescents facing out from the cross. Sooo, if the cross is about the delicate balance of spirit and matter, and the Moon slice is about trusting your felt sense, this truly is a Planet that will help you develop your Psychic Gizzard. Sure, he can get your mental hamster wheel spinning so quickly that it feels as though you made your coffee with Red Bull, but this Is a cycle of spontaneous genius. Repeat after me change is good.

Neptune is the Planet of aspiration, inspiration, divination, spirit communications and really crazy people. ( As in totally out of touch with reality. On Answers With the Astral Bag Lady we have a woman who has been calling for 5 years now, with the same question asked ad nauseum. Okay, get ready….”Is my boyfriend cheating on me with his Wife ?” I have tried every variation of, Well my dear, if that’s his Wife technically he isn’t cheating,” but it just won’t sink in. Hmmm, yeah Neptune loves it when you say “hmmm.” That means that something has just challenged what you thought was reality. Where Neptune gets real is when you find yourself creating a great work of art, literature, music or cupcakes and you never thought once during the creative process. That’s because, you surrendered to a higher source and beauty flowed through you. Nice, eh ? Conversely, Neptune can find people drinking their meals and trying to medicate themselves happy, which is what also makes him the patron of alcohol and substance abuse. The symbol for Neptune is supposedly a trident, I prefer to see it as a lovely meat fork, since you often have to pin a Neptunian person down to get them to actually listen to you. If you look closer you will see that the base of the trident, as well as, his happy prongs sweep heavenward. Yep, that’s Neptune alrighty, so Not of this world.

Pluto is a Planet, I don’t care what experts tell you, but after having a Scorpio (yeah ruled by Pluto) supposed friend and business partner for 23 years, I know in my viscera how powerful Pluto is. Sure he may be puny and kinda far away, but, that’s just because he prefers to lurk, until he leaps into action. He has all of the patience of my big fat Maine Coone cat, when he hides under the shrubs by the birdfeeder. He doesn’t care how long it takes, he’s perseverant and nothing beats perseverence. There are two symbols for Pluto, one looks like a trident thingy with a seed emerging from it, it’s okay, but not my favourite. The one that I prefer looks like a piece of a cross with a Lunar shape that gives it the distinct look of a P and an L. Now mindja Percival Lowell, the fella who discovered Pluto (although truth be told Pluto found him) says that has nothing to do with it looking like his initials. That works as well, because Pluto is sneaky. Pluto is also known as the Cosmic Roto Rooter, since he has the capacity to unearth issues with which you thought you had made peace many years ago. Enter my ex business partner/whatever. After 23 years of camping out in the same office, he informed me that we were no longer partners, with a pencil scribble on a garbage envelope and promptly never spoke to me again. Garsh. Then again he often said, “ Use your friends wisely.” Looks like I got used up. Sure he did me a favour, it is much better now, that he is History. I could never have been a friend in his eyes, because he doesn’t trust anyone that much. Poor sod. In reflecting upon it, I realized that we had started out together in a co dependent family kinda way, and the more successful I became, the more he was jealous of me. Yep, jealousy, envy, revenge ( as if there were sucha thing ) and all of the sneaky games that people play belong to Pluto. Conversely, Pluto can free you from lifetimes of head games and manipulation, provided you are willing to soul search and own your behavior. Get ready to dig deeply when Pluto arrives, since you can’t be honest with others, until you are honest with yourself. Pluto is worse than Santa, since he doesn’t miss a thing. Then he’ll wait years with your payback, only to back up the sewers in your basement, when you are trying to sell the house.

Okay if your eyes are crossing right now, just spend some time on the behavior characteristics of the Sun Signs and the energies of the Planets. In every case the Sun Sign and it’s Ruling Planet will do the same dance. That cuts it in half! If you really want to cram it in, make some Flash Cards. Yeah, it’s about repetition and then one day “Voila” the light bulb comes on. Give it time…

Let’s look at the Houses.

Your Natal Chart is a unique design of Planets, In Signs, In Houses.The House Cusps determine the location of your Planets. That’s why it’s preferable to have the exact time of your birth with which to erect your Chart. Yes, I know it isn’t always possible. I have many clients who were adopted andmay never have their complete data ( Name, Date, Time, City, State & Countyof birth.) But after a few sessions, I can find their Ascendant via 20/20 hindsight. There are powerful transits to the Houses, which indicate, marriage, birth of babies, transition of parents and such. Through a process called recification, which reads dozens of Charts as they dance backwards through your life, you can discover your true Ascendant. It’s a good thing to know, since not only is it the easiest part of your Chart for you to be, it’s also what others will expect of you.

Now back to the houses. Houses indicate the situations and conditionsof how and where you will learn your most important lessons, Planets that are located in each of those Houses in your Natal Chart, will do the talking, your philosophy does the walking.

Okay, here’s my ADD way of remembering the key to your Natal Chart.The easier it is to blend the meanings, the sooner you will be reading Charts.

What you want is the Planet, since that’s the part of your Spirit/Soul/Self that is learning the lesson.

How you seek it is the Sign, since the Sign indicates your behavior and responses.

Where you go about it is the House, because the House tells what kinds of situations you can expect.

Do it again…..What you want is the Planet.

How you seek it is the Sign.

Where you go about it, is the House.

There are 12 houses in the 360 degree wheel of the Zodiac. Each hasan area of expertise of sorts. When Planets are placed in the Houses, you can readily see how differently each of us will process the same life lesson. While the heart of the lesson may be one and the same, the situations and conditions that inspire you to react may be vastly different. For instance of your Natal Moon isin the 12th House, you may duck and cover when crisis happens. By placing the Moon in the 1st House, you will meet challenges head on, sure first you’ll sulk,albeit briefly, then you will get mad and get busy.

Now for a quick introduction: The 1st House, AKA the Ascendant/Rising Sign, indicates how you present yourself to the world. It’s also called a personnae, which means mask.It’s the easiest thing to be in your Chart, especially due to the fact that it’s how others prefer to see you. Which may Not be you, unless your Personal Planets are in similar signs. It’s your personal appearance, as well as your outlook. Your self-image and self-awareness are there. It can show your vitality, or lack of same, as well as the manner in which you project yourself. It’s the home of Aries, who is Ruled by Mars, see there’s a divine pattern to this all. Keep reading, it gets easier.

The 2nd House is all about values, talents, finances, possessions and how well you value yourself. For instance, if you have an Air Sign in the2nd house, your sense of self worth may wobble. It represents banks, luxuries, financial security, resources and your general view of “Stuff.” It’s home sweet home to Venus, which Rules Taurus, so any planet in your Natal Chart that sitsin the second house will have the influence of them both.

The 3rd House indicates what kind of communicator you are. This is the house of think, talk and discuss. Whether it’s writing, talking, teaching, media or advertising, you will find the 3rd house involved. It’s a very logical house, which prefers short trips and long conversations. This is the house of the perennial student, that’s why 3rd house babies generally have books or magazines in the bathroom. Hey it beats reading labels, eh ? It is the House of Mercury, which Rules Gemini, hence the need to think/talk.

The 4th House AKA the I C, is all about your childhood. Yep,home and family issues are right there. It is a house of deep-seated habits and emotions. This house craves emotional security, power naps and comfort food. Mmmmm, Mac & Cheese. This is the house where you find your roots and erase the family script. It indicates how you will seek emotional security and what it really means to go Home.It is the home of the Moon ( Goddess of Twinkies) which rules Cancer.

The 5th House is the Home of the Inner Child. This house is all about life as Fun. Creative self-expression, parties, art, hobbies and the performing arts are waiting for you there. This house reminds you that joy is necessary every gosh darned day. It’s a direct connection to your Inner Child, that’s why it’s also about toys, the theatre, entertainment and children. It is the home of the Sun, which Rules Leo. So this house takes on the flavour of a larger than life party time

The 6th House is a place of your everyday life and it’s responsibilities. Itis a place of service, work, health and hygiene, yep everyday stuff. It’s a house that demands organization, dedication, precision, and a practical use of your knowledge. Your work needs and environment are there too. This house is home base for Mercury, hence the need to apply your knowledge, and Virgo who calls for perfection in everything that you do. If you have ever worked or lived with a Virgo, you know what I’m talking about.

The 7th House AKA Descendent. This is a house that has everything to do with relationships. Since the 1st House is all about You, it’s polar opposite is all about Us. All of your partnerships, companions, close friends and one to one relationships are mirrored by this house. This home indicates the opinions and reactions of others and how you let them affect you. It’s the house of public relations and cooperation. It is ruled by Venus ( which explains the co operation part ) and Libra, ( which indicates the need for peace and harmony between people.)

The 8th House is a mystical place. It represents all of the mysteries of life,death, sex and double cheese pizza. This is a house of total transformation,transcendence, and the ability to reinvent yourself. Since the 2nd House is about how you value yourself, the 8th House which opposes it, is about how others value You. That’s why it’s the house of inheritance, other people’s money andInsurance. Yeah it has a wee bit to do with obsessive/compulsive issues, but it also brings you the ability to break free from it with enough self-discovery. It is Ruled by Pluto the Cosmic Roto Rooter, and the home sweet home of Scorpio, which is why it can make you a tad OCD about the lessons that wait for you in the 8th house.

The 9th House serves as your Spiritual tuning fork. Herein you will find your philosophies, belief systems, moral, ethical and cultural values. This is a house of religions, traditions, and spiritual teachers. In the 3rd House you spenda lot of time networking and attempting to teach others. In the 9th House, which opposes it, you lead by example and constantly seek the larger world. It is Ruled by Jupiter, the big guy and occupied by Sagittarius, the freewheeling cosmic traveler.

The 10th House (AKA MC,) is also known as your Mid Heaven, so it’s you all alone in the spotlight. This is the house of your reputation, your chosen profession, authority, ambition and long-range career goals. It has a lot to do with what kind of contribution that you want to make to society. This is a place of serious duties, personal responsibilities and due diligence. In the 4th House, you spend a lot of time and energy sorting out what you owe to your family. In the 10th House, you focus on what you owe to the larger world. It is Ruled by Saturn, the Boss of Capricorn. It’s all about being a grown up, and hence, has zero tolerance for slackers.

The 11th House is a house of group gropes and humanitarian interests. It shows how you seek groups and/or organizations who will share in your dreams and ideals. Originality, insights, innovation, and experimentation are its gifts. This is a place of intellectually hobbies and pursuits. In the 5th House it was play for the sake of play, in the 11th House, it’s using your intellect to serve the greater good. This House is also known as the place of Christ consciousness, since it sees life in terms of the greater good. How you want to address social inequities and necessary social reform, will be indicated by the Sign and Planets in your 11th House. It is Ruled by Uranus, that wacky guy, and the natural home of Aquarius, the great humanitarian.

The 12th House is also called the Cosmic Dumpster, since itsa place of memories, secrets and your subconscious mind. Institutions, mental hospitals, secret organizations, imagination and vision all reside there. There is also a faction of self undoing to this house, as it represents confusion, delusion, unrealistic attitudes and the big one Guilt. It is Ruled by Neptune, the God offog and illusion and home to Pisces. Since the 6th House is all about taking care of business in the mundane world, the 12th house is all about being far far away from the mundane. Sometimes you have to see the faces in the clouds and loose yourself in creativity.That explains Pisces pretty much, eh ???

Remember that this is at best an introduction to Astrology. In time wewill add in aspects, Chart patterns, and then the good stuff transits. In time, that is. Be patient with yourself. Read your own Natal Chart first, then read it again. Once you are comfortable with that, you can leap into reading other folks Charts. The possibilities are limitless. Dayam skippy J There’s lot’s more fun stuff ! Enjoy J Rev L Newman By the way, please check out my Weekly Astrological Forecast on CBS Radio’s thesky homepage, my Week At A Glance at,my daily forecasts on Ffacebook at the Astral Baglady…..and my Program “Answers With the Astral Baglady” on Thursdays from 1pm to 3pm on, AOL, Yahoo & (Podcasts are available at


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